The first stage of grief you experienced denial of the situation. You were in denial of the relationship being over. You may have been in denial that the death of a loved one has occurred especially if you're not in front of them. During the 2nd stage of grief you may have become angry at the person or incident. Perhaps you were angry for the break up especially if the breakup was abrupt. You may be angry at a loved one for leaving you so soon or for now holding on long enough for you to be able to spend time with them. Once you entered the third stage of grief you began to bargin. Bargaining is when you are trying to justify the situation by asking questions or even adding probability. " If I probably did this he/she will still be here today". Adding statements such as "what if or maybe" will not get you anywhere besides the next stage of grief.
The fourth stage of grief is depression. I know this will be a tough one to handle. Depression can be very somber and sad and it can last for months. At this stage you are beginning to accept the incident whether it's a breakup or another type of significant loss. It will be a tough period of time for you because you may sort to drinking or even other medications to get your by this stage. You may want to feel numb or will feel numb. You may even feel that no one understands what you are experiencing at this time in your life. Depression can be difficult to handle because its a difficult emotion to control. You may be busy working and suddenly have a image of the person that consumes you throughout the day. You may even try to seek therapy and discover that the depression is difficult to control. It will be a challenge to handle depression but it can be controlled.
The first step in handling depression is to not allow it to consume you. The longer you think about it the more it takes over you. Try focusing on other aspects of your life including spending time with family and friends. Please try not to over power any conversations with your depressed thoughts or else you will bring down the mood. You want to be around others so your mind does not wonder back to the trauma or an incident of the past. Being around other people will help you to build a stronger sense of strength and security in yourself. Remember that depression takes time so do not feel bad if you are still feeling depressed 6-12 months later.
The next step in handling depression is seeking counseling or therapy. You want to sort out all your emotions and feelings with someone who can guide you in the right direction so you can live a healthier life. You want to be able to communicate with this individual all the emotions you are experiencing so they can help you get through this stage of grief. The more you bottle it up inside the angrier and depressed you will become.
I have also noticed that during this stage of depression many people experience a combination or anxiety and panic attacks. Again, I would advise to seek some form of therapy before the situation worsens. You may lose sleep, experience shortness of breath, consistently fear the worse is to come and even double check all forms of security around you. For example, you may double check if the front door is locked or even your stove burners are off. You may constantly check to see if your keys are in your purse. All these issues are connected with depression. Seeking therapy will help you to get your life back on track.
I know being depressed is tough and do not feel angry with yourself if you are experiencing depression for several months. You may also be feeling anxious at the same time which will make your depression worse. Try to focus on the positives in life such as family, friends or pushing towards a better career. Keep yourself busy by attending classes or even picking up a new hobby. Keeping busy will help you build security in yourself which will also help you to into the next stage of grief.
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